#epicpoem dancing towards futurity in times of isolation
04/11/20
by Alejandro Jiménez-Flores
“Queer dance, after the live act, does not just expire. The ephemeral does not equal unmateriality. It is more nearly about another understanding of what matters. It matters to get lost in dance or to use dance to get lost: lost from the evidentiary logic of heterosexuality.”
Cruising Utopia, The Then and There of Queer Futurity
José Esteban Muñoz
Now
Como una flor…
En el último momento de mi sueño
de repente estaba en la playa
se había oscurecido
In the last moment, dreaming,
suddenly at a beach,
dusk,
before the waves got wilder
i wanted to go in,
would the salt water to heal my wounds.
Me quería meter a el agua salada
antes de que las olas se pusieran más bravas,
para que mis heridas sanaran.
My mobile started to play Como la flor,
Selena,
i let my phone drop on the sand
and dancing in between the waves
las olas se pusieron tímidas
they got timid, caressing my legs with delicate surf,
inviting me in, deeper….
me invitaron más adentro.
anoche hubo una luna tan bonita
y después de bailar con ella me siguió en el sueño.
last night the moon was full and beautiful,
and after dancing with it
it followed me to my dream…
__
What I miss is sensory things,
sharing smell & touch,
Sentir los cambios de luz en mis ojos cerrados mientras bailo.
The changing lights on my closed eyes while dancing.
El último baile...
remembering the last time i went out dancing
after painting in the studio i got on the bus on my way to bricktown
last minute
quería bailar!
i take a sip of campari soda,
with my tongue tracing my lips
thinking of yours
tragos de amargo licor
recorriendo mi lengua por mis labios,
pensando en los tuyos.
Esa noche bailé hasta el fin.
that night, i danced until the end
i danced with other people,
but not too close,
we kept a distance,
allowing room for new moves,
for the next song
not saying a word
no introductions
just glancing and drifting
last call
we lose an hour tonight,
i grabbed my jacket and
glance back at the dancefloor,
you raised your arm
waved your hand,
i waved with a smile,
till soon...
Oui, Adieu, adieu au Dancefloor
Allez, dansez, riez, crevez sans moi
my last dance was two people
we gave each other space
orbiting around
we danced nonstop like there is no tomorrow
as if we knew then
that soon
dancing would be postponed till tomorrow
that we must keep a distance
i keep living that moment
that memory of the last dance,
start to envision how the dance floor will be after this,
this coaxed isolation
will we keep a distance
will we establish new means of relating to each other.
giving room to heal,
together dancing
until the dancefloor gets full
and we become one body, a new form
again...
Then
Longing for this feeling
i have tuned into live stream of djs i like to dance to,
dancing in my bedroom,
a familiar place,
sharing it with others…
the djs continue to dj.
and my body follows
taking care of the space,
the community
Longing for the smell of sweat,
sips or campari,
a glance across the room
for the dj to play their favorite song
and join us on the dance floor.
thinking
of new was to relate to each other,
hugging friends,
coming out of this
with a new perspective
of what is essential.
tired from virtual dancing…
Before
i dance alone
because i get out of working at a bar
late at night,
you never know when
you get out
so making plans is tricky
also,
dancing alone is different than dancing with friends,
it’s like a bedroom, like a walk
like a cruise through the neighborhood,
aimless, looking for the potentiality
of new moves, of new sensations,
feeling it,
eyes closed,
time drifting...
drinking rose in an old man’s glass,
ma vie en rose
dancing at a bar, alone
3 people moving around,
a deejay playing
pleasant tunes,
swaying...
sitting at a bar
“it was really nice to dance with you!
i mean we were not dancing together
but you like respected my
space and we were just dancing,
that was nice!”
silence, pause..
“nice dancing with you,
you know.”
i nodded,
yeah that was nice!
smiled
Tamales! Tamales! Tamales, muchachos!
no thanks,
it’s last call and
i go outside, to take some
fresh air,
but also, to enjoy that second hand smoke,
only if it’s pleasant,
an older self would be smoking now
certain tobaccos
certain people
a shot of fernet for the road,
bike home,
empty roads,
yell at a cop
eat chips for dinner,
fall asleep smiling
drifting...
Here
my last dance was with two people
orbiting around each other…
my last dance was with the moon and my reflection in the window…
Now
Dancing alone because the bars are closed
my new room is bigger
i just moved in
don't have a big mirror
i can see the moon from the window
and my reflection there begins to move
the wood is less creaky
sliding my leg, raise my arm
look away
shift my weight
and look back
dancing with the moon.
if only the moon could join me at the next dancefloor
i would like that future,
i think back to CDMX wandering through a park
catching the trail of cumbia in the air i followed it
In the middle of the park
people were dancing in many configurations
as a community
cada quien con su estilo,
teasing each other for their moves
swapping partners
and becoming different dancers a fluid community.
i only watched because i can’t quite dance cumbia
i continued to wander off…
smiling,
how nice they were to each other
i fell in love with that future…
Before
🎷
*sade starts plays in the background
i want to dance in slow motion all night long,
i want to feel every part
of this body
i don’t have, move stretch feel
every single cell touching the surrounding cells
swaying.
‘your love is real ‘
ALWAYS
while at danny’s,
dancing alone
by the AC
i close my eyes
and i see you dancing
where is the future,
if it is not
here now
(sent with invisible ink)
Thinking of you in the form of a poem that is not finished yet,
Thinking of you in a language that hasn't formed yet,
of sensations...
And nowness,
Farewells…
Warm regards,
A & f
Take Care!
Hope you are doing well!
✨till soon
Ciao✨
Hope you are doing well!
Hope all is well.
Also whats your Venmo?
✨Hope you are well✨
😭
i hope both of you are doing well! let’s stay in touch!
Take care bud.
Your friend,
I hope you and your loved ones are well!
In the meantime, stay safe, stay healthy, and STAY HOME.
and nice chatting with you too!
Let me know if those vectors work!!!
Take Care!
Regards,
Thanks so much for your patience with the situation that is so much out of everyone's control. Wild times.
make sure to wash your hands before you write anything. safety first!
Derp!
Alejandro Jiménez-Flores (b. 1989) is a process-based conceptual artist making gestures that occupy the space of painting, writing, and performance. Their practice is concerned with how the language we have, or lack, subordinates our subjectivities, identity formations, and the space we are allowed to occupy. They attained a BFA in Studio Arts from the University of Illinois at Chicago in 2012 & a very minor in Poetry from the School of Poetics in Marseille France in 2013 ;). They have had recent solo exhibitions at BAR4000 (Chicago, IL), Heaven Gallery (Chicago, IL), as well as a two person exhibition at Apparatus Projects (Chicago, IL) and performances at Gallery 400 (Chicago, IL) and the Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago. They have been featured in reviews and publications such as New American Paintings, Chicago Artist Writers, Newcity Art and Sixty Inches From Center.
Alejandro Jiménez-Flores worked on this piece with Brandon Alvendia, the Quarantine Times Saturday editor. Each week, Brandon selects a Chicago artist to share a commissioned creative response to the pandemic.
